Balance her between your eyes
It's hard to say how much time is left; it's always been hard. We didn't talk about it directly, but I know my mom didn't think she'd...
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Sara
- Oct 18, 2021
- 1 min
So, before you go Was there something I could've said To make your heart beat better?
Last week, I was pretty certain my mom was going to die. This shouldn't be a surprising revelation, especially not 16 years in to this dogshit disease, but there I was, numb and stupefied by the thought. Alzheimer's is especially cruel like that--once you accept the latest loss of your loved one at the hands of this disease, once you get comfy with navigating whatever the new "normal" looks like, another thread in the human fabric begins to unravel and there you are, bracing
Sara
- Sep 15, 2021
- 2 min
Either way, I lose you in these silent days...It wasn't right, But it was right on time
"To have faith is to hope." I found this photo of my mom recently while sorting my parents' house, attempting to preserve the lives they lived there while making room for my own. I'm not sure her age in this photo, but most likely it was junior high or high school, and most likely at some school event or church pageant. And knowing my grandparents' love for faith-focused socialization, my guess would be the latter. My mom grew up in and around various Christian/Baptist church
Sara
- Sep 9, 2021
- 1 min
Shadows settle on the place that you left, Our minds are troubled by the emptiness
Who knows why we're attracted to the things we are while grieving...
Sara
- Sep 6, 2021
- 1 min
I sometimes wish I'd stayed inside my mother, Never to come out
Not much to say today; I just really miss you is all. #grievingdaughter #grieving #grief #griefsupport #griefjourney #endalz #earlyonsetalz #earlyonsetalzheimersdisease #earlyonsetalzheimers #alzheimerscaregiver #alzheimersawareness #alzheimers #alzheimersdisease
Sara
- Sep 3, 2021
- 1 min
it's hard to be an outlaw who ain't wanted anymore
Hard to believe it's already been a year of Josey Wales, our little outlaw kitty who came into our lives rather unexpectedly, but exactly when we needed him to. This photo was from around this time last year when I'd bring him along for visits with mom. Everyone was impressed with how well he'd sit with her and snuggle, and how receptive she seemed to the little furball in her lap. I've heard so many people talk about how giving their loved ones the opportunity to interact wi
Sara
- Aug 31, 2021
- 2 min
And it's the same face, Your heart keeps breaking in the same place
"By locating our consciousness in only one biological oscillator, the brain, we have blinded ourselves to perceptions that have been common to human beings since they emerged from this Earth. In gaining a reductionist understanding of the world, we lost touch with the essential nature of the Earth and ourselves… How much of life have I wasted by believing the thing I was taught, that thinking is what makes us better, that the brain is superior to the heart." -- Stephen Harrod
Sara
- Aug 16, 2021
- 2 min
I'll Never Let Go Of Your Hand
Mom's caretaker is enjoying her well-deserved time off for the month, which means she has her second-string helpers reporting for duty the next couple days. Admittedly, I used to dread helping with bathing, but I've come to appreciate the time much more these days, maybe it's because it's a less-frequent task, maybe because any time I still have with my mom feels precious. I'm not sure this is time my mom enjoys as much, especially as she's jostled and flipped by someone I of
Sara
- Jul 11, 2021
- 1 min
I wasn't looking, but oh I found A gap in the clouds, the sun comes out
Winding down a lovely weekend with a visit to my parents'. Pizza for me and dad, and mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, soup, and OJ with thickener for mom. It's taken some time, but I've been learning to let go of the wishing for the Things That Could've Been, while starting to embrace The Life That Is. That letting go allows me to feel grateful for the quiet visits where I can spend time with my mom and telepathically tell her all the things going on with me, while playing he
Sara
- Jun 28, 2021
- 1 min
You can send me to hell, But I'll never let go of your hand
It's not just about finding love, it's about holding onto it once you've got it. In good times and bad. In sickness and health. Happy 51st anniversary, mom and dad. Thanks for helping me truly understand the meaning of "devotion." (Definitely a #latergram... Probably circa 2016? When mom was still able to sit at the table with us/eat solid foods. 💛) #earlyonsetalzheimersdisease #earlyonsetalzheimers #dementia #endalz #love #grief #alzheimers #earlyonsetalzheimersawareness #a
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