Balance her between your eyes
It's hard to say how much time is left; it's always been hard. We didn't talk about it directly, but I know my mom didn't think she'd...
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Sara
- Jan 7, 2022
- 1 min
My Family Breeds Wild Winter Seeds Like Me
He is my shadow and perhaps the creature I've spent the most time with on this earth since September 2020. Precocious and curious, he embodied the "Id" for his first year on this earth. He still does in many ways. But he's growing up and changing, becoming just a little more world-aware every day. Still rambunctious and jealous, perhaps a little feral, but also protective, loving, and forever finding ways to make me laugh in exasperation. I've never met a cat who ran excitedl
Sara
- Sep 9, 2021
- 1 min
Shadows settle on the place that you left, Our minds are troubled by the emptiness
Who knows why we're attracted to the things we are while grieving...
Sara
- Sep 3, 2021
- 1 min
it's hard to be an outlaw who ain't wanted anymore
Hard to believe it's already been a year of Josey Wales, our little outlaw kitty who came into our lives rather unexpectedly, but exactly when we needed him to. This photo was from around this time last year when I'd bring him along for visits with mom. Everyone was impressed with how well he'd sit with her and snuggle, and how receptive she seemed to the little furball in her lap. I've heard so many people talk about how giving their loved ones the opportunity to interact wi
Sara
- Aug 31, 2021
- 2 min
And it's the same face, Your heart keeps breaking in the same place
"By locating our consciousness in only one biological oscillator, the brain, we have blinded ourselves to perceptions that have been common to human beings since they emerged from this Earth. In gaining a reductionist understanding of the world, we lost touch with the essential nature of the Earth and ourselves… How much of life have I wasted by believing the thing I was taught, that thinking is what makes us better, that the brain is superior to the heart." -- Stephen Harrod
Sara
- Aug 25, 2021
- 1 min
We'll you thought about leaving and I bet you will That morphine kills the pain I feel.
It's time to administer the #morphine and my dad is careful as he checks to make sure the liquid reaches the faint line on the syringe before we administer. When people hear the "M" word, they get scared, and ask as delicately as they can muster if we are afraid if it will kill her. I want to say there are things worse than death, especially as it relates to what my mother has experienced over these past 16 years, but I simply smile and explain that it is dosed to manage her
Sara
- Aug 16, 2021
- 2 min
I'll Never Let Go Of Your Hand
Mom's caretaker is enjoying her well-deserved time off for the month, which means she has her second-string helpers reporting for duty the next couple days. Admittedly, I used to dread helping with bathing, but I've come to appreciate the time much more these days, maybe it's because it's a less-frequent task, maybe because any time I still have with my mom feels precious. I'm not sure this is time my mom enjoys as much, especially as she's jostled and flipped by someone I of
Sara
- Jul 11, 2021
- 1 min
I wasn't looking, but oh I found A gap in the clouds, the sun comes out
Winding down a lovely weekend with a visit to my parents'. Pizza for me and dad, and mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, soup, and OJ with thickener for mom. It's taken some time, but I've been learning to let go of the wishing for the Things That Could've Been, while starting to embrace The Life That Is. That letting go allows me to feel grateful for the quiet visits where I can spend time with my mom and telepathically tell her all the things going on with me, while playing he
Sara
- Mar 9, 2010
- 4 min
Grief is a funny thing…
and sometimes it visits you in the strangest of places. On Friday, it was in the middle of me cleaning the bathroom floor. It had been a really good day. I was coming off the high of seeing my BFF after a very long stretch of missed connections and woke up feeling good (albeit a little groggy). I was able to get myself together–wear a nice outfit and find everything I needed to get out the door. I did not get out on time, but I was able to sneak through without anyone noticin
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